Escaping social conditioning.

I think part of the reason I'm doing this Lands End to John O Groats thing is to escape something. Do.ypu ever feel trapped? I have felt a bit trapped for a few years. Trapped by things like having a mortgage, the pressure to have a day job. All that stuff we are expected.to do in society. I don't like it. It bores me to death :) Thats probably one of the reasons I got into stand up in the first place. 

When I was at school I actually done quite well. I was top of the class in maths, physics and chemistry. Shit at English though. You can probably tell by reading this :) Teachers etc seen a good.future for me going into science engineer based career. I have a specific memory of when I was maybe in 4th year. I was outside having a laugh with a few of my pals. We were being a bit loud but having fun. I was a quiet kid so this was me starting to come.out my shell a bit. One.of the teachers came out and gave us a row for being noisy. He quietly took me aside. He said something along the lines of "You have a chance of a good career. You can't have that if you behave like this". I thought fuck off. If being a success means having no fun them fuck that. Despite that I ended up going to university and studying manufacturing Engineering. I got.my degree but never done anything with it. I always had the comedy thing in the back of mind. 

I remember a few years ago I was talking to an old lecturer friend in the pub. He always used to go on about how good I was at maths and it.was a skill. Anyway. I was telling him in the pub about my comedy adventures. Doing the festival, going to Australia etc. At.one point.he looked at me with a disappointed expression and said " You could have been something ". Really? :) I am doing the only thing I ever really wanted to do when I was a kid. Apart from.being the world snooker champion :)  That never happened. 

Day jobs, working up the corporate ladder, getting 4 days paid leave a year etc.scares the shit out of me. I've had about 35 jobs. I'm a terrible employee. In my mind day jobs and corporate careers get in the way of living a whole life. 

I am scared of getting to the end of my life and not taking the chances on the things I wanted to do. That scares me a lot more than missing a bill payment. 

Anyway. I'm running away from social conditioning. It still tries to pull me back in every now and again. I'm off to Lands End tomorrow from Pymouth. Come and catch me now ya pick. 

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